I believe that the intrinsic drives extrinsic so I want to reflect on 3 shifts that I experienced through my journey of being a practicing Coach.
What Do I want to do has changed to WHAT DOES THE UNIVERSE WANT ME TO DO?
This is fundamental shift for me : where I am moving away from strategizing, analyzing and ruminating to seeing how my life can be of value to others. What have I been called upon to deliver at this moment in time. Thinking like this has really helped me to enjoy moments of pause, take time to reflect and trust the environment and open life to opportunities and possibilities. As Rumi says ‘ What you are seeking, is seeking you’. Seeing your life in service of others in every area of your life is bringing so much calmness to my restlessness and pursuit that I feel at ease and peace with myself and others.
Knowing that we don’t see the world as it is we SEE THE WORLD AS WE ARE
What happens outside is not the exact for each one of us. It has different impact and implications for each one of us depending on how we interpret it. It also has different impact on our physiology. Coaching has helped me learn and understand the world of others. When an event occurs it is my interpretation of the event and I consider that as a reality. This can often lead to conflict and disharmony. As Rumi says ‘Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world , today I am wise so I want to change myself.’
Helping the client has changed to PARTNERING WITH THE CLIENT
Have redefined what successful coaching looks like- it is not helping the client. Client is a whole person. By seeing the client like this has moved me to a space of not judging myself and getting desperate during a conversation. This would take away my ability to fully be with the client and just listen. It has stopped the leading questions that would come up earlier. Now I sit with the client as a partner- to prod and sometime provoke. I learnt that empathy comes in the way of detachment. Empathy creates connections and connection creates attachment and so we want to be helpful. By seeing client as having all the knowledge, resources and knowing themselves better than I do helps me to not get attached to person or outcome. I work on being only master of process while client is master of their situation. So being non-judgmental is a myth, however I work hard to suspend judgement during coaching. Looking at coaching from point of view as a partner has also helped me develop courage. I have been able to ask more challenging questions rather than feeling responsible to be good to the client. I want the client to feel good rather than my being good. I now see the client as a partner who is creative and resourceful by being their thinking partner. As Rumi says ‘Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you’.
Moving away from doing coaching to BEING COACH-LIKE
Being authentic is a strong value to me. So training as a Coach has helped me very organically to also practice the skill of listening, asking more questions rather than advising, being in the moment into my daily conversations and both in my personal and professional life. I have experience this change within myself and have also been told by others. I can see it has helped my relationships with people. And the biggest benefit is how I feel as a person when I show up in public. As Rumi says There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled. There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled. You feel it, don't you ?