Co-Active Coaching
3rd Edition by Henry Kimsey-House
"Coaching is not a technique or a skill. It is a way of being in relationship with others.”
- Henry Kimsey-House
This quote stayed with me throughout the book and really set the tone for what I took away from Co-Active Coaching – 3rd Edition. As part of my ICF coaching learning journey, this book gave me more than just tools—it actually changed how I look at coaching conversations. It blends practical ideas with a deep belief that every person is "creative, resourceful, and whole". That idea alone reshaped my mindset. It reminded me that my role as a coach is not to fix or advise, but to create a space where clients can tap into what’s already within them.
The authors describe four core beliefs that guide the Co-Active approach. These made a lot of sense to me and helped me become more grounded in my own practice.
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The idea that People are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole helped me shift away from trying to solve things, rather create a safe space to uncover what they already have within.
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Coaching the whole person, not just their words, but also their values, emotions, and identity that are really connected with what we’re learning in training.
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It’s not just about small improvements but helping people transform from within.
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The concept of a designed alliance stood out. This idea that the coaching relationship is something we co-create with clear expectations and mutual trust felt powerful and practical. It’s something I’ve already started applying with my clients.
One tool from the book that I found especially helpful was the "Wheel of Life". It offers a clear and visual way for clients to reflect on different areas of their life, career, health, relationships, personal growth, fun, and so on. I’ve used it during sessions where clients didn’t have a clear goal at the start, and it helped them discover what really needed their attention. It’s also a great conversation starter and opens the door to more meaningful self-reflection.
The book also deepened my understanding of listening. We covered this in training, but the way this book explains the three levels of listening made it click for me.
Level I is internal, where the focus is on ourselves.
Level 2 is fully focused on the other person.
And Level 3 is where we pick up on tone, energy, and unspoken things.
Another important area was asking powerful questions—not just open-ended ones, but ones that spark awareness. This shifted my approach from asking questions to get information to asking with curiosity and intention. The book also reinforced the value of acknowledgment, intuition, self-management, and simply staying present without an agenda. These are things we’ve learned in training, but reading about them again helped me understand how they work together in real coaching situations.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants to become a better coach or communicator. It brings together depth, structure, and humanity in a very relatable way. As the authors say, coaching is about “dancing in the moment,” and this book helped me feel more confident in doing just that.
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Reviewed by: Koushik Uthaiah